Regius Page 2

  "Clearly you aren't willing to delve into the mystery of his miraculous recovery." Aram said dully, standing and tossing a pair of pants my way when I couldn't find them myself. "You may have to wait on his return for a long while. The Palliums were under attack the last couple of days and Datura has to clean up the deadly mess caused by it in the Valley."

  I shrugged all the while pulling a shirt over my head. "I can wait."

  "You are not interested in hearing that you carry the blue blood cell and that now you have been triggered you are expected to train to become a soldier?" Aram opened the door for me.

  I stopped in my tracks to spare him a glance. "Don't you have better things to do than lecture me? Like spending time with your daughter?"

  "Who told you?" He asked.

  "Nobody. Vervaine may have her mother's golden eyes, but otherwise she's all you." I patted the Elder on the arm and then rushed out of there before he could change his mind and stop me from delaying my duties towards the Altors.

  * * * *

  "Why can't you just wait for Datura at the Coliseum?" Dandelion asked again, rolling over on her sleeping mat for the hundredth time, clearly not happy she was forced to sleep outside. I'd told her I didn't mind waiting by the crack in the earth that led inside the Valley on my own. But with all the attacks that had occurred, everyone was being extra cautious. The fact remained that even if I was now a triggered Altor harboring more strength than a Civilian, I was untrained. They took turns watching me and bringing me food, all of them asking why I was so hard pressed to wait right here for Datura instead of at the Coliseum, yet none of them forced me to go back.

  "If you and Jatrop were in the same situation, wouldn't you wait for him right here instead of at the Coliseum?" I murmured as I stared up at the stars in the dark blue sky. I understood her discomfort; it was indeed not the best to sleep outside on a mat, but it was worth it.

  She grunted, turning again, but this time she pointed her gaze at me. "Well, sure, but you and Datura aren't married." She paused. "Or in love." She paused again. "Right?" I smirked at her attempt to subtly nudge answers out of me. She'd been trying this all day.

  "I'm very impressed with your behavior, Dandelion." I started laughing when she smacked me.

  "You are one tough nut to crack, Cali!" She chuckled with me. "Please, to make guarding you less annoying, give me something." When I remained silent, she groaned. "Look, I knew something was going on between you two. Him trying to kiss you, you punching him, the obvious sexual tension."

  "Hey." I frowned. "There isn't that much tension." Just because I'd accepted the attraction I felt towards Datura and was more than willing to give into it, didn't mean Dandelion could be so... crude.

  "Prude." Now I smacked her. "Okay, fine. I'm just saying that while I knew there was something, I didn't know you felt that strongly about him." She meant my driven need to stay right here.

  "It was always there, Dandi." I murmured. "I just didn't want to admit it."

  "And now you do." She said. "I feel surprised, but I know I shouldn't. The moment Datura saw you in the house, something changed in him."

  "Really?" I whispered shyly, looking into her blue eyes.

  She smiled. "Yeah. He started living again. Like, he finally figured out that he is a living soul himself, not just a tool to guide the dead." The sigh that escaped her was one of contentment. "You are the puzzle piece that makes Datura complete."

  Clearing my throat uncomfortably, I looked back up at the sky. "Is Aram gone?"

  "Sure, change the subject." Dandelion snickered. "Yes, the Elder has left the Coliseum. But you, Jatrop, Datura, Ilex, Caltha and myself will be staying there for a while longer. The Regius have been particularly active these last couple of weeks, and with the interest they seem to have in you, it's better if we all stick together and stand strong."

  I nodded in understanding. "What about the Palliums? Are they recovering from the attack?"

  "The Pallium Leader reported that the Regius didn't manage to breach security and attain the tech room or the Regius heir." I nodded absently at her words, my eyes drawn back to the crack in the earth, checking again to see if there was any change. There wasn't.

  "Who is guarding me tomorrow?" I yawned, moving around to settle myself comfortably for sleep.

  "Ilex." Dandelion answered. "Hey, before you fall asleep. Will you at least tell me why you are so open about your feelings for Datura now?"

  I sighed, but instead of ignoring her, I decided to answer. "It was never about you or the others, Dandelion. My feelings for Datura were in no way halted because I was afraid of admitting to the public that I am attracted to men. I got over that fear before Ilex brought me here." I smiled as I remembered Sol looking at me in a way that had made more than clear she wasn't about to let that stop me from falling in love. "When something scares or bothers me, I need to think. It's what I do and it's how I function. Solenum knows me through and through; she waited until I was ready to talk about it because she knew that pushing me to speak would only slow down my processing things." The entire idea that is Datura was so overwhelming; I had needed time to absorb it all. But then the process had been slowed down because he had made one wrong move by trying to kiss me too early and the others had kept pushing me to explain what I was feeling.

  "What were you afraid of?"

  "Loving someone other than Solenum. Admitting that I need more than just her in my life and that she and I may not want the same things for our futures. Realizing that we are, in fact, not joined at the hip." I gulped. Lupinus and Acacia's faces flashed through my mind. "Admitting that our guardians were right. And of course, feeling as though this place, the Altors, you, Datura-" I breathed out shakily. "It feels like Ilex brought me home. Everything makes sense here, whereas in Lithium Village, the only thing that made sense to me was Solenum."

  "You want to be a soldier." Dandelion said, the smile in her voice clear.

  "I do. I want this life because I feel wanted and useful. I've never felt this good about myself as I do now after the trigger. It's like I understand my body, which I didn't before. Datura was guiding me to this point since day one, continuously showing me that it is okay to want things for myself even if Solenum doesn't want the same thing, or isn't here to want things with me."

  "So Datura represents more than just a love interest." She stated rather than questioned.

  "He is as much my puzzle piece that completes me as I am to him."

  I felt Dandelion pat my shoulder sympathetically. "Then I completely understand why you were terrified to let him in."

  * * * *

  I gratefully took the cup of coffee Ilex handed to me. He'd managed to convince me to at least go on a run with him for an hour in the meadows, and I could honestly say that it had been quite satisfying to work up a sweat and get rid of the excess energy. Now that things made more sense to me and I was willing to let him and the other Altors teach me all they knew, he'd taken advantage and explained a few things.

  The extra strength didn't come free. If I didn't train, it could take its toll and return me to the aggressive state I'd been in during the trigger. As though the power that made you an Altor soldier needed to be properly nurtured or else it could fester and explode when left untouched.

  This same rule applied to the Regius. The difference was they had more power and when they used too much of it, it tapped directly into their behavior and altered it. Ilex had compared it to the Seers. Vervaine was forced to stay away from human contact because it would lead to visions, and the visions were only possible if they were allowed to feed on the body that harbored it. If she were to give in, her powers would control and consume her.

  Although using their strength didn't lead to their death like it would a Seer, the Regius' personality was affected. The more they used it, the crueler they became. But it wasn't just that. It was also a state of mind. If a Blue Blood was taught to believe that it was okay to use their strength to harm those weaker since they wer
e children, then who would have the power to change their minds?

  "I know what you're thinking." Ilex murmured while sipping his own coffee.

  I smiled uncertainly. "You do?" I liked it when he guarded me. He shared the same views on personal space I did. Some topics were okay to discuss, whereas others weren't his or my business. He was also a very calming presence.

  "Why not get a few Blue Blood children and raise them with a different view on the world." He wasn't far off. I had been getting to that. If it was a matter of upbringing, then it could be a way to try and change the conflict feeding the war.

  "I'm assuming those highest up in the Regius hierarchy are as aware of this matter as we are and making sure nobody can change their-"

  "Religion." Ilex supplied. "Much like the Palliums have a way of viewing and treating the earth we live on, so do the Regius. The only way we could change the Blue Blood's core, is if a royal were to order them to do so. Force them to tame their strength and use it differently from how they believe it is right to use now and through this lifestyle, possibly tame the cruelty." I blinked in surprise at his words; staring at him sitting crossed legged on the grass as the realization hit me.

  "Is that what Flux is trying to achieve?" I murmured. "He took the heir so he could raise and mold him into a Regius without cruelty?"

  "A Regius King without cruelty." Ilex corrected. "The Altors didn't stop Flux from trying because it is essentially an appealing maneuver to try and reduce the conflict between the races. If the heir is strong enough to hold on to Flux's upbringing, then I would be more than willing to serve him."

  "But you fear that streak of cruelty in their blood will one day get the better of him." He didn't have to say it; I heard it in his tone. He spoke as though it was a solution that could only come true in a dream.

  "The Regius have done so much damage over the centuries; it would take a miracle for the Altors to trust a Blue Blood to be King to all the races." Ilex paused, about to take another sip from his coffee, but then shook his head, grimaced and put it down on the grass. "How can you be a strong King with a mind of your own, when what you look like, who you are and your entire upbringing creates a type of uncertainty for each race when looking at you?"

  "You don't trust him?" I asked.

  Ilex shrugged, clearly conflicted. "The Palliums feel the need to keep him in one place, as though he is a wild animal that needs to be locked in a cage just in case he does someday lash out. Whenever Altors set eyes upon him, we cannot help but remember all the wrongs the Regius have done to us and because he wears the royal mark, it's like we are obliged not to trust him. That mark is the representation of the entire war." He absently reached into the bag he had brought when he'd relieved Dandelion from her guarding duties, pulling out a sandwich and giving it to me. "Even the Rangers treat those with the royal mark carefully."

  I eyed the food, not that hungry all of a sudden. The way Ilex described this person who was unfortunate enough to be born with a mark on their body that made them the heir whether they wanted the crown or not-

  "That's terrible." I whispered.

  "What?" Ilex asked.

  "He never asked for any of this, and however his blood may rule his system, it is terrible that there is nobody in Zinc that doesn't fear him in one way or another." When I looked at Ilex, I saw him raise his eyebrows in surprise.

  "You feel for him?"

  I shrugged. "He's human, isn't he?"

  "But he's the Regius Heir."

  I shrugged again. "And I may or may not carry the curse of foresight and have Sage, adviser to the current Regius leader, for a mother with the power to manipulate my mind and tip the war into their favor. Yet here you are talking to me with ease because I look like you." When Ilex wanted to protest, I shook my head. "It's okay. Maybe I'm just particularly sympathetic to those different because I always felt different while growing up. Maybe I should be cautious about this guy. Yet the fact remains that Vervaine is Sage's daughter and I may be her son as well. Even if Vervaine's father is an Altor Elder and she was brought up by him in the Altor way, you fear her more than me because she carries apparent physical traits of a Regius. But from what I understand, my father was an unstable Altor soldier whose history is so uncertain, nobody is quite sure who my mother is." I smiled tightly. "If you map it out such as I did now, Vervaine should be the one to have your trust. But because I look like an Altor, you favor me."

  Ilex stared at me, the silence hanging awkwardly between us.

  "Sorry, I'm not accusing you." I muttered when he just continued to stare mutely.

  He shook himself out of it. "No, no. You're accusing all of us." I opened my mouth to apologize again, but he gave me a stern glance. "Never, ever, apologize for speaking your mind and having an opinion, Cali. You're a smart kid." Nodding, he stole the sandwich I clearly wasn't going to eat and took a bite out of it.

  "When I was delirious," I started, swallowing nervously and looking down at the ground. "I remember you saying to Datura that you knew my father."

  The Altor simply nodded. "Kalmia Esquivel. Some moments in his life are indeed unknown to us."

  "Why is that?" I asked, the curiosity overpowering the nervousness and making me feel brave. I needed to know more.

  "He went rogue first and then fell off the grid."

  I offered a dull stare. "Neither of those terms are part of my vocabulary yet."

  Ilex grinned, letting himself lay back on the grass, his hands beneath his head. "He's not as bad as most Altors make him out to be." He said softly, his tone implying he'd known my father better than he'd let on. "He was rash and definitely not always the wisest, but he was a good man, very kind and he could make you feel wanted and important."

  My heart skipped a beat. "You and him had a relationship?!" I didn't know whether to gag or just continue to remain dumbfounded for the rest of my life.

  "Cali." Ilex clipped out, sending me a glare. "Just because I describe a man in a warm manner, doesn't mean I-" He wrinkled his nose, "You know." I waved it off quickly, the idea still making me slightly nauseated.

  "He was completely and utterly straight. And kind of a player while we're at it." I tried to picture his face, but I just couldn't, the wall still blocking my memories. "He was of the same generation as Iso and Ivy's parents. Lupinus and Acacia were a few years younger than him." I saw Ilex smile. "If I remember him fondly it's because he was the one that told me it was okay to be gay."

  "So, if he had still been alive right now and-"

  Ilex cut me off. "He'd have approved of Datura, yes." The blush that broke out over my cheeks couldn't be helped. Ilex had never truly spoken to me about mine and Datura's relationship. To hear him speak about it so simply made me both shy and relieved. Not that his opinion would have changed my mind, but it was comforting to know he understood what I saw in Datura.

  "Why did he go rogue?" I wanted to talk about my relationship with Datura to Datura, not Ilex, so I made sure he didn't go off track. He held some answers about my father that only he could give.

  "Iso's father fell in love with a woman that appeared to be a regular Civilian, but at some point we found out she was an undercover Regius."

  I frowned. "A Regius with dominant Civilian traits?"

  Ilex shook his head. "No, a Civilian descending from a family who sided with the Regius when the war first broke out. There aren't many, but the very few that are here are used as undercover spies since we have no way to identify them."

  "What does that have to do with my father?"

  "He and Acal, Iso and Isa's father, were the best of friends. When Acal decided to relinquish his soldier title, lay down his sword and betray the Altors by siding with the Regius so he could stay with his wife, Kalmia followed him." Breathing out, I lay back in the grass as well. Now it made more sense as to how my father had come in contact with Sage. If he'd bowed down to the Regius King, he'd effectively been in close proximity to that woman.

  "So he went rogue becau
se he relinquished his soldier duties and then he became a traitor as he offered his skills to be used by the Regius." I deduced.

  "And then he fell off grid by leaving the Regius and remaining hidden from all races." Ilex added. "We know he left the Blue Bloods because he handed you over to me a year after you were born." I sat up in surprise, feeling shocked at that revelation.

  Ilex smiled. "Sage was relentlessly tracking Kalmia. So much so, he felt the need to give you up for your own safety. He said he trusted me to do that." He sighed, sitting up as well and giving me a pained look. "I'd just finished my training and Kalmia had turned into a far off memory, someone from my past I didn't expect to ever see again. I was about to pick a territory and was crossing my fingers that me and Caltha could end up in the same district so we wouldn't be forced to end our relationship because of the distance."

  I sighed. "You weren't ready for that much responsibility, yet he forced you to take it on anyway."

  Ilex shook his head. "It wasn't quite like that. I don't think he expected me to raise you, but he did expect me to find people who could."

  "Pressure much?" I chuckled weakly.

  "That's what I said." Ilex ran a hand through his hair, tugging on it. "He warned me that you were part Seer, and the Elders knew he'd had a dalliance with Sage. To protect you, Pieris, an Elder, took charge of you and made sure the least amount of people knew so that it was harder to find you."

  I nodded in understanding. "The less people know, the less chance they could find me."